Keeping with my promise in previous articles, since we’ve already heard proof from several examples that the soul of women can be reached and won over the internet, let’s hear from a representative of the gender that does the hunting. I did not chose the story of Sanyi accidentally from among the boys who wrote. It seems that all the things the others wrote about happened to this one person:-)
If I look back, my meeting on the net was completely by accident. I was looking for a CD-ROM drive and while surfing I came across a personal ads section that was free of charge. I became enthused immediately when I saw that there were some 25 girls looking for a partner. Automatically clicked on the “In Search of Females” button without ever suspecting what a misunderstanding this will lead to….and that is what it lead to!
I filled out all the blanks giving the minimum of general information (blond, tall, blue eyes, etc.) I thought I needed a winner of a nick to grab the attention of the readers who are looking at the list of other ads. That’s how I ended up with “Snail on Sandpaper” and if that weren’t enough, my ad was accidentally placed in Female Seeks Female section of the personals. You can imagine the kind of responses I received. Probably the most interesting thing in that was that the first respondent was a male by the name of Laszlo. None of the females that wrote were willing to believe, however, that I was a male and that this was a mistake in the categories. For the sake of the experience, I waited patiently until the ad expired. I received a stack of letters but unfortunately not one of the met the qualifications I was seeking.
After this experience I was more interested and began searching the personal on the various boards. After I’ve sown the seeds of expectation on them I sat back and waited for the nibbles like some spider in his web. I made an increasing number of acquaintances most of them surface contacts feeling out the possibilities according to some unwritten rules of etiquette. I enjoyed tremendously because until then I only considered the usual social gathering places as a place to find a person I enjoyed spending time with. Since the past ten years of my life were spent in ‘Saturday night fever’ and none of the relationships stemming from it endured over the long term it occurred to me that the method significant of our century may be more effective than the traditional method that emphasizes the exterior.
My guess appeared to be proving true as I met girls whose attitude was very close to mine, we had a lot in common and they had many of the qualities that I was looking for. I made it a priority to respond to those girls whose overwhelming numbers daily sent me charming, witty and cheerful masterpieces. I figured those not needing days to prepare a response stood far above the average gray masses. I was pleased to encounter conversation partners that I thought existed only in my dreams. It was comforting to me that it was the intellect that had a chance to gain notice rather than be overwhelmed by hormones or desire as could happen in a personal meeting.
I think in some respect this method of meeting people limits the potential terrain to that minimal segment who is on somewhat higher intellectual level from the average, is in the field of computers or is a student who has access to the internet at school or works in the field of computer sciences. As time passed it became clear that I could not maintain contact with all of the individuals who met my criteria. I had two reasons to justify my point of view: someone who divides his love too many ways has little to devote to each and the other was that I noticed how much I’ve changed. Waiting for the letters and responding to them became too much of a focus for which I was willing to stay late at the office or arrive early in order to have the opportunity to surf the net.
It was sad, but the time arrived when I had to say good-bye and turn my attention to those only who to me for some reason appeared outstanding. The circle became smaller and smaller and I was anxiously waiting to see who will be the person who will make be believe that the internet offers a real opportunity to find a partner.
Finally there remained six women among whom I had to make a choice. As a next move I showed myself in the form of a digital picture to these women and in exchange received an image of the ladies. In cases of mutual attraction we set up a date to meet. It was then that the first disappointments surfaced as some people did not appear the same in real life as they did in a posed, perhaps in some cases, touched up photo. There was one who sent me a picture of her high school graduation, and there was one who appeared incapable of carrying on a one-on-one conversation. The whole process made me wonder if these were really the women who were able to write those wonderful letters that I looked forward to reading. Never mind the idiotic boys who wrote under women’s names. Surprisingly there are those who make a sport of doing this and then sit behind their monitor laughing at the fact that they fooled some poor slob.
It was terrific to meet the few that actually turned out as they were expected based on the letters. Naturally there were those who turned out to surpass expectations, their appearance and beauty justified what came across from their letters. There were two individuals who themselves were not aware of the fact, had equal chances for the highest grade from me. They were complete opposites, one is a deep feeling, imaginative, romantic soul and the other a more realistic, stable and a bit shy. I am still in touch with both today except that one became the love of my life and the other the most important friend I have.
I believed in success all along and the results have proven me right. I remember the very beginning of our relationship when I couldn’t wait to get my letters, even had my e-mail account sent over to my mobile so that I would know immediately when a letter arrived. There were days when I’ve read the arriving confessions of love for the fortieth time then race to be the first to respond in kind. It developed into a healthy competition between us where we both attempted to out complement the other with kind words, the expressions of emotions. I began pouting my heart in the form of poetry, finding more and more opportunities to publish the fact that Her and Her alone was the most important for me now. I’ve made it a point to surprise her with virtual greeting cards, old fashioned hand written notes, placed messages for her on bulletin boards all over the internet and even found an opportunity to make an announcement on the radio that I am here and can hardly wait to see her again. Our meetings were more and more frequent, not an easy feat considering the distance between us as she is a citizen of another country. The internet is a different world, there is no boundary, no time difference and no distance! We were in touch daily, knew of each others schedules, the momentary feelings and there was an occasion that I’ve sent pictures of myself every few minutes with the help of a digital camera on the net.
Then I noticed that I was not the only one that existed for her, that there were others who received mail from her. There were all kinds of strange thoughts in my head. I suspected that she may still have active personal ads running but I did not know what other nicknames she may be using. I put on my virtual combat fatigues and began my personal crusade. I placed traps throughout the system, registered in a variety of bulletin boards and placed ads while trying to sort through the responses that resulted from them. I’ve attempted to guess which one she may be. My hunch played out when I received her photo from a new nick. She had no idea that she was corresponding with me and to make it more believable I ‘borrowed’ the image of a strange man in order to further the situation. In this way I was able to get her address from her server and had easily accessed her archived letters and among those I’ve found those parts where she wrote to others about me.
After this point I revealed myself and attempted to convince her that meeting on the internet may not be a completely safe thing to do. One might share feelings and thoughts with a person who does not exist since the mail system is a very vulnerable tool although most people think their thoughts are safe within. It is a good idea to be careful what they write about and spend a little effort checking out exactly who one is writing to. There may be evil thoughts and intentions hiding behind flattering words and even with a picture one can’t be sure that we are talking to a ‘real’ person or a created identity. With a decent search engine it may be possible to find the same picture file on several other sites.
There are people who spend entire days on the various personal ad sections and they change identities almost weekly without bothering so much as attaching a real scanned in picture to their ad. Instead they place a link in their text that connects the reader to an ad that may be placed on a number of strange boards throughout the world. It should not be neglected that in their ads most people describe themselves as the ‘Marlboro man’ or a seductive ‘Miss Universe’ with all the positive traits to go along with the image yet these things may have as much in common with reality as the Rubik cube to a helicopter blade.
The bottom line is that curiosity prompts one to act and those actions are not always performed in the most decent manner. What was the result of my expedition? Both of us lost our faith in each other for a while playing games of hide and seek on the various bulletin boards hoping to discover before being discovered. We had to recognize that in this form our constant suspicion would be damaging to our relationship. The basis of every relationship is trust and the seed of trust is honesty. Those who have nothing to hide have nothing to be afraid of. Eventually we both had to agree that nothing was more important that to love someone, to belong to someone in the real world.
In summary I must mention that personally I feel that meeting on the internet is a positive step. We, who with unbelievable luck have found the love of our lives have perhaps laid the foundation of a new method available for future generations. We would like to encourage newness by our positive example, to be brave.
I recommend to all lonely seekers who have the opportunity, to look for their love on the internet. If they succeed, they should remember to return to the real world where they can not only read about love but experience it with passion.